I am the Scrooge of Halloween. I begin to feel a cloak of dread towards the end of September when shops turn to the dark side and bury their merchandise under stacks of hay or hide it behind hanging ceiling webs crawling with hairy spiders.

Friends who seem more or less normal during the rest of the year put fake tombstones in their front yards and yank the guts from pumpkins in order to cut and gouge intricate shapes into thick rinds. Candles shimmer and subtly shine from scary, shifty sculpted eyes. And there are bones, skulls, and skinless bodies all over the place!

Of course, there is the issue of costumes and the accompanying pressure of being unique among a cast of limited characters, and the proverbial question of whether to stay at home to hand out treats, take the kids around the block or get the heck out-of-town. If you do leave town, will you even have a house to come home to?

I certainly would not like to be visited by the ghost of Halloween past, but if I were, I bet we would find that as a child I was badly frightened by a group of masked, evil neighborhood boys. Could those “Freddies” and vampires have been my brothers? I wonder. They probably scared me to death and took all of my candy. We may also discover that I got a bag full of raisins, toothbrushes and church flyers instead of treats; and treats as we all know, are the purpose of the whole ordeal.

Ah, candy……….. the one positive thing about Halloween, until one remembers cranky, sugar-infused kids with stomach aches and the silent creeping up and up of the bathroom scales. TERRIFYING!

3 thoughts on “BOO-Humbug

  1. Is this why you were the grinch of halloween… because of a childhood trauma? That explains it…. Well, BECAUSE you were the grinch, I remember saying every single year… “When I grow up, I’m going to let my kids celebrate Halloween and do it big”…. Then, I grew up and wasn’t so excited about it anymore. I LOVE the costume part and getting creative and Fall is beautiful. I love pumpkins and gourds and squash and I think autumn is a crisp, clean and fresh season. But, it seems every year, the consumer world gets more and more “spooky” and “over the top” and you can’t go anywhere without seeing a bloody limb or a gargoyle that cackles when you walk by. Although I do like the “not so scary” decorations, I have to say, I’m not a fan of the blow up snoopy pumpkins either. Maybe the economic “cleansing” that is happening will cause the decorations to fade a little every year until we get back to just jack-o-lanterns and good old scarecrows. I remember as a kid driving an hour to see a man’s house that had hundreds of carved pumpkins and thinking “wow, he spends a lot of money and time on halloween” and now you can see Halloween Houses done up as if for competition on every corner… makes you wonder.

  2. I love it! This post really gave me a chuckle. When I was teaching, I felt just as you did. Now that I’m retired, I guess I don’t much care. However, I’m visiting my granddaughter now and I see her dressed as a monkey and loving it so I’m having fun with her. She hates anything scary.

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