Granny get your gun



Maybe it’s just me, but I find it a little disturbing to think of Grandma packing a hand gun.  Can you picture your grandmother with a gun?  I’ve asked many of my friends lately, “Do you own a handgun?”  The overwhelming response has been “yes,” followed by impassioned explanations of self-protection and the fear of an upcoming revocation of the sacred constitutional right to do so.  Is it because I live in the south? the bible belt? a red state?  Trust me when I say that I get it.  I understand the need to bear arms.  Please don’t interpret my sly grin and my nodding head as a sign of disapproval.  It’s more like a sign of disbelief.

I’m a grandma myself and I try to imagine the scenario.  It’s Monday and I can’t find my cell phone, I forgot that I left my flat-iron on and I didn’t write down that the pest control guy was coming at 10.   I am getting out of the shower when I hear a noise, it’s a burglar.  I quickly wrap a towel around me, run to the kitchen, grab a step stool, run to the closet where I keep my gun high on the shelf away from the children, find the box of ammo (in the drawer by my bed-away from the gun-to avoid an accident),  find my reading glasses because I can’t see a thing without them,  load the gun, aim it with a steady arm, fire and shoot the guy standing at the front door while holding up the towel with my chin.  Don’t worry about the poor pest control guy, I missed him by a mile.

My husband took me to a shooting range once.  You had to put on earphones because the sound was unbelievably loud.  My first shot was pretty darn good, but when the instructor kept cautioning me to keep my thumb wrapped around the handle, or I might cut it off when the casing shoots out the back, my aim got worse and worse.  I don’t do too well when I’m scared.  So at least (in my made up scenario), I still have my thumb, though I’m quite deaf and the would-be robber got away.

I joke, when I’m sad and I’m saddened by the times.  I wonder what is real and what is perception driven by fear and manipulation.  Admittedly, I don’t know, but it seems like we’re back to those wild west days pictured in old movies.  And, like a scene from another old movie, my stomach tightens slightly when I think of my gentle, kind, loving, girlfriends with guns in their hands.  I feel like the mother in Christmas Story when Ralphie begs for a BB gun and I think,

Go ahead Granny, get your gun.  “But don’t shoot your eye out.”

Or mine.



13 thoughts on “Granny get your gun

  1. There are two sides to every argument. I’ll agree that’s true. Nevertheless, there are no two sides to the dead children littering school yards all over America. We no longer live in the unpopulated Wild West. Civilization needs to be learned and practised, not necessarily with the pull of a trigger but with self control and societal constraints. This is a great country that has continuing spasms of violence marring its history. More than marring, when you think about the Civil War. Isn’t it way past time people turned their attention to good citizenship, to the well being of the community, to selflessness over selfishness?
    Maybe not. Too bad for us.

    1. “We no longer live in the unpopulated Wild West.”

      Actually a historian did a study a while back and “Wild West” cities like Tombstone and Dodge City were considerably safer and more civilized than some of our cities today. The homicide rate in the U.S. is about 4.7 per 100,000 now. But in New Orleans it has been over 50 per 100,000 for a number of years. I have been in a war zone that was probably safer than the Ninth Ward in New Orleans.

      In fact most of the horrendous gun violence in this country is found in our inner cities and involves gangs and a war on drugs (and failed social schemes and broken families). Lots of America has a homicide rate quite comparable with socalled “civilized” parts of Europe (and safer than the U.K. in many instances).

      It is the horrendous violence in our inner cities that outweighs the rest and make America look bad.

      “…there are no two sides to the dead children littering school yards all over America.”

      I agree. We protect our money in banks with armed people. Was in a jewelry store the other day and they had an armed man there to protect their diamonds. All the time see Brinks and other armored trucks picking up cash at big stores and they carry a lot of guns. Politicians are often protected with guns. There is no “gun free zone” around the President where the Secret Service often have fully automatic sub-machineguns under their coats and ready to blast full auto to protect him.

      So why exactly are our kids not valuable enough to protect with guns?

      We wouldn’t declare a “Gun Free Zone” around a bank and not allow armed guards and expect that crooks would _NOT_ break the law to rob the bank with guns, do we? When has a “Gun Free Zone” ever kept a crook or a crazy from bringing a gun into them if that is what they wanted to do?

      Some guy that wants to die in a “blaze of glory” (in his crazy vision) is NOT going to be deterred, is he? Just how crazy is it to believe that declaring a Gun Free Zone around a school is going to protect kids?

      So yes, I agree. We have too many dead children killed by crazies in schools. We should know by now that gun free zones don’t work to keep the crazies out. Doesn’t it make a lot more sense to put responsible armed people in schools to protect our kids? Wouldn’t that be a hell of a lot easier to accomplish than trying to disarm a lot of honest and decent people?

      Yes, you are right. It is time to do something about it. But if we keep doing the same thing, thinking “gun free zone” laws, etc. are the answer then we are crazy, aren’t we?

      ” Isn’t it way past time people turned their attention to good citizenship, to the well being of the community, to selflessness over selfishness?”

      At one time in this country, before either of us were born, a good citizen was a law abiding person and if he was a man, he was expected to own a gun and be prepared to defend the community. Here is a really great article by Jeffrey R. Snyder on the subject:

      A Nation of Cowards

      At one time good citizenship and selflessness in regards to community was embodied by the willingness to defend it. Many Americans today have no concept of that and only think of what government can give them.



    1. PJ

      Did you see the story where a student in Memphis was shot and killed because he was knocking on the wrong door? Was drunk and thought it was a friends house.

      1. Anyone can do some research and come up with a list of appalling incidents with guns, or cars, or toddlers drowning in swimming pools, etc. If there is anything in society which can be dangerous it is beyond doubt that there will be some tragedies. You _cannot_ prevent that entirely because human nature is sometimes even intelligent people do truly stupid things, or have stupid accidents.

        What is truly missing in the argument over guns is to acknowledge the tremendous good that is also done with guns every day, lives and property saved and tragedies prevented.The media in particular go out of their way to pretend these hardly exist, however something like 13 major studies in the last couple decades show otherwise, show that people often use firearms in self defense and in the majority of cases no one is hurt. The intended victim displays the fact they are a firearm to the bad guy and he goes somewhere else, presumably to find a victim that does not pose the same degree of threat to him.

        Of course it does make sense to try to decrease these incidents with sensible precautions. On my blog I have a proposal for universal background checks that I think a majority of gun owners would support.

        Also we need to put guns back in our schools and _teach_ kids from an early age about gun safety and take the mystery out of them, teach kids a different message than hypocritical Hollywood teaches with an endless stream of super violent movies.

        People scream and holler about accidents or unfortunate incidents with guns, like the one you mention, but at the same time seem to scream and holler about the idea of teaching kids about guns, about gun safety, and their legal rights and liabilities if they use a gun in self defense (which can often be extremely expensive in terms of legal fees, etc.).

        So yes, I have heard of many incidents like what you describe? My answer is simple. So what? So what did you expect if we don’t seriously teach kids about guns so more will act responsibly when they have a legal opportunity to possess them.



  2. The need that folk feel for guns and those that mis-use them is evidence of how uncivilized we’ve become. A law stating that folk can carry them anywhere is not gun control. It’s an invitation to lawlessness, premiering the wild, wild south.

    1. “A law stating that folk can carry them anywhere is not gun control. It’s an invitation to lawlessness, premiering the wild, wild south.”

      People who get concealed carry licenses are some of the most law abiding people in the U.S. They may get arrested for a firearms violation, but not any more often than sworn police officers getting arrested for firearms violations.

      Almost every state now has some form of “shall issue” concealed carry law (meaning the state by law has to issue the permit or license if a person qualifies). In every state people like you screamed that “blood would run in the streets,” etc. Guess what? Didn’t happen. Ever. We have had concealed carry in Texas for about 15 years now with no bad consequences and more than a few good ones (people not robbed, raped, or murdered, including women joggers and women alone in a parking lot at night).

      “The need that folk feel for guns and those that mis-use them is evidence of how uncivilized we’ve become.”

      In fact crime and homicides today are about half what they were in the 1990s. What is uncivilized is believing – as apparently you do – that we are more “civilized” if we don’t let people have a means to defend themselves against violent criminals and predators. The evidence is that a lot of women do not disagree with you and they are buying handguns and taking courses to qualify for concealed carry licenses in record numbers.


  3. Let’s also be clear that there’s a difference between ladies that were around and/or used firearms when they were younger and those that decided, probably out of fear, to first get one when they were of advanced years and probably deeply conditioned to be afraid of them.

  4. I share your fearful concern. When we lived in Memphis a few years ago, I knew a woman in her 70’s who’d gotten her an S&W. I had to even think what that was at first. One of her hands was starting to shake a but which caused me more alarm but she getting a laser site on it should she need to shoot it. She was also getting a holster mounted on her car dash along with her permit to carry. I asked where she was going that she felt she needed that and she replied “just the streets of Memphis”. She was a well-educated woman who volunteered extensively in the community. I’m still alarmed over than conversation. I believe in our rights but I’ve chosen the right not to have one. Well said Gwen.

    1. Research shows that in the vast majority of self defense uses of guns the gun is never fired. Just having a gun to display to the criminal is usually sufficient to send them packing with no one hurt. So even if Grandma is not a crack shot and has failing vision the bad guy doesn’t know that.


  5. Many people have difficulty when first attempting a skill but in time, like driving most people readily learn.
    I would encourage you to practice more. And definitely read about self defense laws and scenarios or take a class from a professional. It doesn’t matter if a person uses a firearm or a fire place poker; the time to consider when violence would be used is long before the knock on the door.

    And yes, I could imagine my grand mother with a gun; she lived on a farm the first 10 years of her marriage. No power, no cars….nearest town was 2 hours away by buggy. I can imagine my wife (now a grandmother) with a firearm; protecting her family with an effective tool or just practicing at the range.

    Bob S.
    3 Boxes of BS

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