Mary, Mary quite contrary, how do your buckets flow?

Perhaps because the years have filled me with so many conflicting experiences, people and situations, a simple cup can not possibly hold the measure of my personality. Contrary to the familiar analogy of an optimist vs a pessimist, I have no cup at all, half full or half empty. I spend time, consciously and unconsciously, emptying and filling two large buckets.

Two buckets, one containing all the beautiful, lovely, admirable, creative, joyful, life-giving moments one can possibly imagine. The other, heavy with un-resolved issues, disappointment, pain, guilt, betrayal, fear.

When either bucket is full to capacity, a tiny drop of emotional input triggers an inexplicable reaction, a blending and bubbling up, a spilling out of the bucket’s mysterious content.

Imagine what a steady drip or sudden downpour releases.


Speaking of Buckets – just for fun – click and listen

Bucket Full of Rain……..DejaBlueGrass Band


Soldiers and Grandsons on Memorial Day 2011

Re-blogging my very first post on WordPress.  Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

My grandson carefully places little green soldiers on the edge of his dresser, along the window sill and across the table.  On the floor confederate artillery march, along with star wars storm troopers and various superheroes.  Each figure has a specific assignment to be carried out by the divine plan of a seven-year old resulting in the ultimate victory for the “good guys.”  And of course, this begs the question which I ask,”which ones are the bad guys?”  He is dumbfounded that it is not completely obvious to me and I am cognizant of a life time of confusion.

Is freedom really free?  Is the enemy really me?  Does there have to be war to ensure peace?  The good guy is on the white horse, right?  Is it the cowboys or the indians, the Braves or the Mets, the soldiers or the draft dodgers?

Will my daughter’s son ask me about freedom one day?  I could tell him about the heroic acts of his grandfather and great-grandfather in two great and terrible wars.  I could tell him of men who used their voices not to go to war and how both soldiers and civilians share the same freedoms but don’t bear the same responsibilities.  I could explain how we all can experience freedom that we did not earn or pay for or how we sometimes live in bondage of our own making.  Instead, I think I’ll ask him what he thinks about freedom and play him Richie Havens.